Following the Stars Part Four: There is a Season for Everything
Image by Anna Sun Art
Before this year, I’d experienced almost every type of season someone could experience in life. Seasons of loss, of joy, of growth, of focus, of business success, of parenting woes. All of them.
But in January of 2022, for the first time in my life, I fell into a season of very deep depression. There have been people around me who I know have suffered or still suffer from depression, but I’d never truly understood it.
Come January, however, just a few months after all my new astrological insights were revealed to me, I could not get out of bed. I could not eat. I could not think about anything other than I wanted out of the life I was currently in. I felt helpless. I felt lost. I felt completely untethered.
I would say to myself, “Jess, you cannot stay in this. You are strong enough to pull yourself out.”
Like I said yesterday, you can have the roadmap but still hit a pothole or two. I had the roadmap. I knew where I needed to go. But getting there wasn’t a direct route.
So I did some research and found a spiritual advisor. I had a map, but I needed a guide.
I called to make an appointment and could not have given her less information about myself. She didn’t have my email or my website URL. I don’t even think she had my last name.
But I walked in for our first session, and before I could even sit down she looked at me and said, “Oh honey. You have been through so much trauma, starting at the very beginning of your life.”
I could only nod.
She took my hands and said, “You have healing hands. God has put you through all the trauma in the first half of your life so that you can understand it and empathize with others. So that people trust you. And so you can be a light and help heal.”
She continued, “You are meant to write about your experiences. Your writing will help others. Your vulnerability will help heal others.”
Hmmm…she was onto something. I knew from responses to Sleeping with a Stranger that writing from a vulnerable place had already helped others heal.
My tell-all memoir
Sleeping with a Stranger is officially available everywhere books are sold, in hardcover, paperback, ebook, and audiobook. Since the book’s luanch, I’ve been amazed by how it has been received. From being named a best seller by USA Today, the Wall Street Journal, Amazon and Barnes & Noble to incredibly personal and touching reviews from my amazing readers, it’s been such a wild journey!
Here is one of my favorite Sleeping with a Stranger reviews…
“Could not put this book down! Read it cover to cover. This story of love and perseverance and shear strength enlightens you, motivates you, and encourages you. Reading about what Jessica went through and overcame, you feel every emotion, every tear, every laugh, every anger. But what you walk away with is a sense of appreciation for her and a sense of strength in yourself. She made it, and so can you!” — Angela, Amazon Reviewer
We were both still standing at this point. Then she looked right at me and said, “You were in an accident as a very small child.”
“Yes.” I said.
“You lost someone very close to you.”
“Yes. My sister.”
“She’s your healing angel. She chooses the path that guides you to your purpose.”
I stood there as she continued to hold my hands, both of us waiting in silence for a minute.
She continued, “Has your work ever had anything to do with flowers?”
“Yes.”
“I see your sister in a garden. She’s picking flowers and putting them in a basket. She’s chosen flowers as the beginning of the route to you sharing your vulnerability.”
Well, that checked out. The first time I felt aligned in my purpose was when I wrote my wedding business course The Business Behind the Blooms.
“I can see that you are feeling depressed. You are as blue as a smurf. This isn’t who you are, and it’s not for forever. God is letting you understand depression so you know it and can relate to it and speak on it. You won’t be here much longer. What you are going through now is the last of your major trauma issues. Things will be looking up by the end of the year.”
Only then did we sit down. We talked for almost two hours, and I had never felt more seen. She was truly gifted with spiritual gifts and insights from the divine. She was a truth speaker.
At the end of our session, she said, “Tonight’s a new moon. I want you to take this candle and write down what you want. Just be still. Be quiet. Think about what you truly want from life….”
Now to you, maybe it seems like I’m some sort of witchy heathen, but I am not kidding when I tell you that I had no idea what she meant by a “new moon.” But it seemed like she believed that the practice of identifying what I wanted to attract and manifest into my life was tied to the new moon’s cycle.
I wanted to know more, so I dove into the world of new moon and full moon cycles and rituals.
Now, I’ve never met a routine or ritual I didn’t like. I even have a course— The Game Plan— that focuses on monthly check-ins to help build a life you love. Rituals help transition into new phases and seasons. I have music playlist rituals that help me transition through the day, getting ready rituals with the kids that keep us sane, etc. Rituals are an integral part of most of our lives.
I’ve written about rituals I have around my menstrual cycle, and how I try to match my work up with the different seasons of my cycle.
Again, I recognized that leaning into the purpose and beauty of creation could give me deeper insight into myself and my healing.
When I first learned about the natural changes we experience through the four phases of a menstrual cycle, that gave me wisdom into how to work with my body and my needs instead of against it.
Now history was never my favorite subject growing up, but I’ve since gotten my act together. And I’ve learned that Native Americans have always used their nature wisdom to farm and create with the moons and the seasons instead of against them. They even gave names to the new moons and full moons to match with what was happening energetically at the time– names like worm moon, wolf moon, and hunter moon.
In the same way, if we use natural seasons and systems to clue us into what is going on energetically, we can work with it instead of against it.
So often, we suffer and feel stuck and confused. Like we’re pushing against a locked door. My inkling is that maybe we are focusing too much on something when the energy, the timing, just isn’t right for it.
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Like when I first met with the astrologer demanding answers about my career, and she encouraged me that my journey in this season was to focus on my family and healing and rebuilding that foundation. I could have kept pushing my career forward, but I would have continued to meet roadblock after roadblock. And I would have wasted the time set aside to invest in my family.
If I hadn’t had that insight into my path forward, I would have continued– like I’ve done for the past few years– to put all my energy into my work and be so incredibly frustrated, constantly feeling like a failure because I was working against the energies. When I knew 2021-2022 was not about work, it gave me permission to put that down for a minute. To press pause, knowing I could always pick it back up. Instead of feeling like a failure, I felt like I had a choice.
My spiritual advisor only confirmed that although I was in a season of depression, I was exactly where I needed to be. And she gave me hope. In fact, she told me I would begin to shift my career around November 2022, and it would really take off– if I work WITH the energies and not against them– in the spring of 2024. Knowing all of this was a little confusing because it was so brand new to me, but it was also a total relief.
Ever since this conversation, I’ve started learning how to incorporate these creation rituals– designed by the ultimate creator– into my life.
And I invite you to do the same. New moons are for setting intentions. What do we want? Full moons are for letting go. What is no longer serving us?
This is no different than a bi-monthly check-in, working with the world around us instead of against it.
Now when I look into the stars and the moon in the night sky, I feel God’s presence and purpose surrounding me and I am grateful.
Head to the next blog to find how to dive into your own soul.
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