Exchanging Ego for Soul: What Does True Soul Freedom Look Like?
If you’re following along week by week, you know that last week we talked about the difference between ego and soul. This week, we’re going to talk about what soul freedom looks like.
The whole point of this series, and of my course The Path Back to You, is finding how to unlock the freedom to live your life out of soul freedom. Because if you’re not living out of freedom, what are you even doing?!? And yet, I’ve spent decades of my life living in bondage to people or stories that we haven’t chosen for ourselves.
When you’re not living life out of soul freedom, it’s usually because you haven’t figured out what you really want, or you haven’t given yourself permission to actually go after it.
So let’s talk about what soul freedom is and how you can choose it!
True soul freedom comes when you have the autonomy of choice. So often, the lowest times in our lives happen when we have no good choices. Choice can be taken away from us in many different ways, some we can control. Others, we can’t.
Even when someone isn’t actively taking away your freedom, limiting beliefs that are passively handed down can also take freedom away. Even if you have had the best childhood imaginable, a marriage a Disney princess would be jealous of, a career that lights you up, and a family that champions you endlessly, you can still uncover messages you’ve believed that limit your freedom.
Let me give you an example…
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I remember driving to college for the first time. My windows were down, and I belted Wide Open Spaces as I drove. It wasn’t a far drive from Conway to University of Arkansas, but each mile melted away the weight of expectation, suffocation, and limitation. I have wonderful parents, but I don’t know many college kids who didn’t feel the same way. By the time you’re a freshman in college, you’re usually more than ready to be on your own.
That’s the feeling all of us chase when seeking soul freedom later in our lives. Somehow, between that first taste of freedom and the responsibility of adulthood, we forget how to find that soul freedom, and we allow expectations and limitations to suffocate us again. What has that looked like for you?
I’ve always said that following our envy can reveal what we most desire.
And as silly as it sounds, I’ve watched shows like Sex and the City and been envious of Carrie Bradshaw. Not of her admittedly totally unrealistic job and accompanying salary and apartment. But envious that she gets to decide what she eats for dinner. She gets to decide how she spends her time. She gets to decide what she wears, regardless of how situationally appropriate it might be. She gets to make her own choices, and she lives with her own mistakes.
When I clocked my envy for Carrie Bradshaw, I got curious about it. I sat with it, without judgment. I realized it wasn’t that I wanted to be a single woman in the city and wear tulle skirts. I wanted the freedom to choose. Spontaneously, and each day. I craved that reminder that each day, I got to choose.
You wouldn’t guess it, but it wasn’t until I moved back to my hometown, freshly separated, with my three kids, into a much smaller home, that I truly captured that freedom. I wake up and feel limitless possibilities. I see cardinals flying around my backyard and I feel connected to my sister. I dance around my mid-century kitchen and feel the freedom I was looking for. It’s not glamorous, but it’s free. I’m not beholden to anyone. Except my kids’ social schedules.
I get to choose.
Not everything is easy or fun, but I get to choose.
And my soul feels free.
MY TELL-ALL MEMOIR
Sleeping with a Stranger is officially available everywhere books are sold, in hardcover, paperback, ebook, and audiobook. Since the book’s launch, I’ve been amazed by how it has been received. From being named a best seller by USA Today, the Wall Street Journal, #1 on Amazon and Barnes & Noble Top Ten to incredibly personal and touching reviews from my amazing readers, it’s been such a wild journey!
Too often, I think we assume that we’re the only ones who feel trapped in a life devoid of freedom to choose, but I’m here to tell you that is so not the case. Everyone you know, even those you least expect, feels suffocated in some aspect of their life.
In my life, and in the past few years especially, I’ve made some tough choices. I’ve shifted my business focus, I’ve moved from Conway to Nashville and back again, I’ve disappointed my family, paused friendships, started new ones, ended my marriage and entered into a much healthier relationship with my children’s father after our marriage ended. None of these choices were easy, but I got to make each of them myself.
That’s soul freedom to me.
Choosing the life I long for,
even if there are painful consequences.
I know I’m not a perfect mom. I won’t get everything right the first time. But I know my kids are watching me, learning from me. I don’t want, for one single second, for my children to think they need to be perfect for me to be proud of them. I want them to know that they have the freedom to make all kinds of decisions, and that my happiness doesn’t depend on them. I’ll love them, and be there for them, whatever kind of choices they make.
I have no roadmap for their lives. I hope they see me picking up the pen to write my own story, and I hope they know, above all else, that they can do the same.
If it’s hard for you to even know where to start when it comes to choosing soul freedom, I want to help! Join The Path Back to You to get the workbook that goes along with this chapter. I’ll help you identify how to find your next steps towards freedom.
When you feel like you're losing your mind, I’m here to help you restore your soul.
In “The Path Back to You” I share with you my own personal story of struggle, trauma, etc. as a sacred offering. My hope is that through my story, you can better see yourself. I share with you my darkest moments and the steps I took to find my light– the light I had dimmed for most of my life.
Throughout all the heartache I’ve endured, I’ve finally found peace. And I want to share my roadmap with you.
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