Already, But Not Yet
I bet most of us have mixed feelings about the Christmas season. I know I do.
If I had to sum it up— it feels like “already, but not yet”
I try to get ahead of things this time of year (surprise surprise) so I can be present. So I’ve already…
bought and wrapped presents
set up the Christmas tree (and taken it down and set it up again)
decorated the inside and outside of the house
ordered Christmas cards (except I dropped the ball on that this year. Moving will do that to you!)
maxed out on Christmas music
And yet, it’s not yet
time to take off work and school
time to rest and reflect around a fire
time to celebrate Jesus’s birth
time to reflect on the ending of one year and the beginning of another
Despite my best efforts, I feel distracted trying to control everything around me, and I’m missing last year’s small but intimate Christmas in our airstream, with a handful of presents, a command hook Christmas tree, and incredible views.
I’m already dreading the excess coming our way in the form of toys and food and stimulation.
Anyone else? It’s the push and pull. The already and not yet. The fun anticipation and the moments of dread.
As my dad likes to say, “not everyone will do things the way you do them.”
So for the next month, my job is to vocalize and fight for the simplicity and peace this season means to me, knowing what’s best for us and our kids, while also knowing that there’s good and growth in letting people love my kids the way they want to, too.
Even if it’s different than I would choose.
It’s a tricky balance, this push and pull. And if you’re feeling it too, you’re not alone. And maybe there isn’t some perfect version of Christmas to get to. Maybe it’s just about the good and the growth you can find every year if you just lean in and listen.
